Watching this display of nature and nurture in action, and thinking about God’s creatures great and small, reminded me of the old saying, “Two of the greatest things we can give our children are roots and wings.”

“You’ll Understand When…”

We parents often admonish and teach our children by explaining why they should or should not follow a specific course (Eph.6:4). Many times we end by saying, “You’ll understand when you have children of your own.” Several years ago one of my daughters told me that while growing up, she told herself that she would NEVER say to her children some of the things we had said to her. In the next sentence she said, “But Mom, I hear myself saying those same words all the time!” Yes, I was thrilled!

Another daughter was watching her five-year-old son tackle an obstacle course at a playground. He never quite finished the course, but every time he slipped, she encouraged him to “try again.” She didn’t tell him he wasn’t big enough or old enough, just “keep on trying.” Instead of being frustrated, he enjoyed the challenge and someday, when he is bigger and older, he will finish the course.

It’s Hard to Let Them Go

It is hard to let our “babies” go no matter how old they are, but it is our God-given responsibility to train them so when the time comes for them to leave our nest they will be prepared to feather their own. If we give them proper roots to ground them in their youth, then we will be prepared to let them go when they are ready to fly.

Are our kids going to make mistakes? Of course they are! Did we? Of course we did! But if we teach them to love God’s word and follow Him then when they leave home, the empty nest will not be as difficult as we might imagine (Prov.1:8-9). I overheard one daughter, when in her early teens, telling a friend, “My mother can find a moral lesson in EVERYTHING!” I am fairly certain she wasn’t saying that as a compliment at the time, but I stored it in my heart and know that it truly was.

Is it scary the first time a child spends the night away from home, goes to camp, drives a car, begins to date, and suffers hardships and heartaches? Oh, yes! But we must allow them to grow and learn from doing some things by themselves. They will learn many of life’s lessons from their own experiences. We can help our children by giving them space to grow while still encouraging them from a distance.

Remembering That God Is In Control

When our son’s first son was born three months early and we got the call, our hearts were in our throats and we were praying all the way to the hospital. All we could think about was what might lie ahead for him and his family. But we knew that whatever the future held, GOD was in control—we were not—and we (and they) could face tomorrow because HE lives. Thankfully our grandson is now a thriving two-year-old and someday he will learn his own life’s lessons with the help of strong roots and strong wings.

One thing I know for sure, as we are enjoying the days of the empty nest, is that our own children will soon be saying to theirs, “You’ll understand when you have children of your own.”